The following sentences actually appeared (supposedly) in church bulletins or were announced in church services.  You decide.

The "Fasting and Prayer Conference" includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water".  The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.  Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Don't forget your husbands.

The peacmaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick in our community.  Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Agai", giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.

Barbars remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.  She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.  So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Thursday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electic girdles for the pancake breakfast Sunday.

Low Self-Esteem Support will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Prebysterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.


It happens to all of us.  We sometimes mispell, mistype, get in a hurry etc.  It can make for some very akward and embarrasing moments in print.

If you have been the culprit or have seen some funny church bulletin announcements or quotes,  please share them with us.  A smile brightens the soul.

Send your quotes to

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Subject line : Smile Awhile